there are four

i didn't grow up dreaming of being a teacher or a doctor. i didn't grow up with big plans to travel the world or go on some wild adventures. those things are all wonderful, they just weren't my dreams.

i grew up dreaming of being a mommy. i grew up dreaming about a husband and kids. about a family.

when husband and i decided we were ready to add a baby to the mix, i was beyond excited.

and then we waited. and waited. and nothing happened. and i was scared.

not just scared that my reality might turn out differently than my dreams. scared of letting go, giving up the "control" that i wanted to have, and letting God work.

He taught me so much during that time. things i didn't know i needed to learn.

He made our marriage stronger during that time.

now i can look back and i'm so grateful for that time. so grateful that God has a plan for us that is so much better that any plans we try to make.

because the story continues, and God did bless me with my sweet little ones. at the exact moment He chose.

God knew each of our babies and He knew when they would enter this world.

when i look at our mantle, i don't see four stockings waiting for Santa to come fill them up.

when i look at our mantle, i see our family. and i'm so grateful.