a very merry birthday

we celebrated Caleb's 2nd birthday on Saturday with some family and friends.

it had barely rained all month, but on this day, for our outside party, the skies decided to let loose.

the party started at 12:00.

the very heavy downpour started at 12:00.

oh yeah, there were tornado warnings too.

so the party moved indoors, and almost everyone was still able to make it.

we had a fabulous time.

husband set up a tent on the deck, and stood out there and grilled away.....


little man stood at the front door, watching the rain, and waiting for his guests to arrive.....




while everyone else ate some yummy lunch, Caleb ate his spoon.....


and played peek-a-boo with it.....


Caleb loved the bags that his presents came with.....


and when we all sang happy birthday, he smiled and clapped.....


.....our singing must have been really excellent!

two

happy birthday, baby boy!

two years ago today, your nervous mommy and daddy were sitting in a hospital room waiting for you to make your appearance.

how did you go from this.....


to this.....



while we blinked our eyes?

you have forever blessed our lives, and made us into this little family that is so precious to us.


here are some things you are up to these days.....

you do not like to see shoes left out. you will carry our shoes to us, one by one, for us to put away.

you must wear a onesie under all of your clothes, because you like to take your pants off.....and then your diaper as well. not sure what we will do when you master the onesie snaps!

your favorite foods are fish sticks, bread, cheese, bread, hot dogs, bread, grapes, and bread. but really, you are not a big eater and would be fine with a milk-only diet.

you still refuse a sippy cup, but we just found out you are tongue-tied, so maybe this is the reason?

you like to play under the kitchen table.

you like to get out all of the tupperware tops and make piles. in the middle of the kitchen. while i cook.

you like to watch thomas the train, little bear, winnie the pooh, diego, and dora. you give dora kisses on the tv. i try to not get jealous.

these are some of your nicknames: little man, baby boy, doodle bug, sweet boy, punkin' head, curly fry.

you love being outside.

you could swing for hours.

you babble in your crib a lot before you fall asleep. apparently, you just have a lot to say. i love to listen to you, because you always sound so happy.

you like to throw bella's ball for her.

you HATE having your teeth brushed. you would think that we soak your toothbrush in gasoline by the way that you act!

if you are not wearing shoes, you will not wear socks. you put your foot up to your mouth, grip the sock in your teeth, and then yank it off.

you clap all the time. anything that makes you happy gets a clap.

you bite your nails. who knew kids could do that this early?

you hate for us to fix your hair. and who can really blame you.....it's not easy! there is a lot of it! (mommy is trying to convince daddy to let us cut it. i think he's caving in!)

you like to give open-mouth kisses, and you love to be hugged.


we love you so very much, baby boy!

a fashionista

Caleb has come up with a new fashion statement that he likes to sport these days.....



the off-the-shoulder-onesie.

husband is none too thrilled with the fact that his only son likes to expose his shoulders like this, but i assured him that he will grow out of it. unless, of course, we are still making him wear onesies as a teenager!

good night, sweet boy

on any given day, Caleb might:

- leave numerous bite-marks on my legs.
- kick me when i try to put him in his highchair.
- throw the food that i just made him onto the floor.
- have 101 tantrums. for no reason.
- pull my hair.

on any given day, i might:

- not demonstrate enough patience.
- raise my voice.
- burn his grilled cheese sandwich.
- not have enough energy to throw him and swing him the way daddy does.

but at the end of the day, when it is just the two of us alone in his room, i hold him in my arms and say his night-night prayer. he presses his nose up to mine as i whisper the words, and when i open my eyes, he smiles his wonderful, sweet smile at me. he places each of his hands on each of my cheeks, and pulls my face towards his, and proceeds to plant his open-mouthed kisses on me. after each one, he giggles that sweet little laugh of his.

and in all of this, i can feel him saying, "we're gonna be just fine, mommy. cause i love you, and you love me. so just forget about all of the yuck from today, and tomorrow, we'll do it all again, maybe even a little bit better."

and he fills up my mommy heart with his kisses. and he holds my love in his little hands.

good night, sweet boy.

**********************************************************

i'm linking up for Emily's Tuesdays Unwrapped

a fantabulous Easter

we had such a wonderful easter.

the weather was perfect.

the food was yummy.

husband had the entire day off of work.

we were with family.

and we got to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus. what could be more wonderful than that?

we gathered at my parent's house. they just finished having a new and much bigger deck built on, so there is no furniture or anything yet. that equalled one enormous playground for little man.

he ran all around that thing as fast as his little legs would take him.

and since he does not like the way grass feels (i think this has to do with his sensory issues), we decided to hide the eggs on the deck and let him have at it.....

he did not want to put the eggs into his basket. he wanted to make a pile of them next to the basket.....


and then he discovered that there were snacks inside, and he had to try them out.....


and on a sidenote: my husband would like to make sure that everyone is aware that the outfit was my idea, not his. he simply went along with it because he's a good guy like that!

and here is my brother sporting another wonderful fashion statement.....


at least the basket was used for something!

madness

once upon a time, a group of men got together to think of a way to drive their wives "mad".

"i know," said one of the not-very-bright men. "let's rally together all of the colleges throughout the land who have basketball teams and have them compete against one another. we will call it a tournament. we can all cease to do anything else except to watch all of these games. we will schedule 32 basketball games during the first two days alone, and it will be pure and utter madness."

the men were "mad".

the women were definitely "mad".

and today, on the first official day of "March Madness", i wonder if i was mad to have agreed to marry this husband of mine who buys into all of the madness.

but then i remember how much i love him.

and how amazing he is.

and what a good husband and daddy he is.

and so i humor him. and maybe even encourage him a little.

i fill out a bracket all on my own, and then tease him about how my bracket will beat his bracket.

i have a very intellectual way of making my choices.

which name do i like more?

for example, i really like the name Baylor. so, Baylor goes all the way to the final eight in my bracket.

sometimes, i don't like either of the names, or they're just plain boring names.

like Ohio State.

boring.

so, i'll ask bobby what color the teams are.

he will then give me this look, and then shake his head at the absurdity that is his wife.

but i know deep down, he's a little nervous about my system, and scared that if my bracket does happen to win, he will never, ever hear the end of it.

at least this "madness" will end in three weeks.

and then i'll have my husband back.

until then, if i'm a little "mad" at times, you'll know why!

this sweet boy, this mother's heart

let me start out by saying that i have been contemplating on how to approach this post for a while now. i am not a naturally forthcoming person, especially when it comes to personal struggles in my life. when i started this blog, yes, it was for me to have some fun, maybe "meet" some other moms out there in the blogosphere, but the main point was to let our family and friends who wanted to keep up to date with us to have an easy way to do that. also, Bobby and i thought it would be great for us to be able to look back and see things we were doing, how things changed, how Caleb's grown, and so on. we wanted to record parts of our journey, and right now, this is a big part of it.

i also want to be careful how much i put out there. i love my family so much, and i want to cherish this journey we're on together. i don't ever want to tell too much of our story. after all, this is the internet.

i always want to be honest, and not ever feel like i'm simply painting a pretty picture of the foreground just to cover up all the stuff behind it. yet i also fear i may not do well with my words, and undermine or not show sensitivity to what others are going through. we all have stuff in our lives. right now, my stuff is kinda sending me for a loop, but i fully know that there are so many who have stuff in their lives that mine doesn't come anywhere near in comparison.

so, with all that said, here goes.....



anxious...questioning...nervous...overwhelmed...inadequate...guilty...angry...scared.

these are some words that might describe what's going on inside my heart these days.


our sweet Caleb has been dealing with some developmental and communication delays, as well as some sensory issues. at 15 months, his pediatrician was concerned with the fact that he had no words, and also that he was showing very limited understanding of what we were saying. by 18 months, when there wasn't really any change, bobby and i agreed that this was something we needed to address. we have had many different evaluations done since then with a lot of different doctors and specialists. we have started early intervention therapy, speech therapy, and are trying to get started on occupational therapy as well. right now there is no reason, or diagnosis, or any real answers as to what lies ahead.

Caleb is now 22 months old. he has shown some progress with the therapy already, but still has a long ways to go. he still has no words, except maybe "go" and "dada". he is definitely aware that he is limited in how he can communicate with us, and some days he can get very frustrated and upset. some days, he is happy as can be and running around the house laughing. he has such a sweet, sweet spirit.


this is what i know in my head:

God has a plan for Caleb.

God has a plan for Bobby and me.

God made Caleb in His image. He gave him to us to be his parents. He will give us everything we need to be the parents He calls us to be.

God is good.

God is mighty.

God can move mountains.

Everything that happens in our lives, the good, the bad, and all the stuff in between, happens for a reason. Everything is for His bigger picture.

We won't always understand that this side of heaven.


in my head, i know all of that, but if i am completely honest, i have to admit that my heart's not there yet. i have complete faith and confidence that God will lead me there, but today, in this moment, with this situation, it's just not there yet.



calm...quiet...trusting...still...peaceful.

these are the words that i want to be able to use to describe my heart. that is where i want to be. that is where i yearn to be.

"Don't worry about anything. Instead, pray about everything.

Tell God your needs and don't forget to thank Him for His answers.

If you do this, you will experience His peace, which is

far more wonderful than the human mind can understand.

His peace will make your thoughts and hearts quiet and at rest

as you trust in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:6-7